“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-17
God is always coming towards us, inviting us, wooing us, offering us himself to live by. In our natural state we are against God’s ways. In our humanness we would rather hate than love, condemn than receive.
Some years ago now the Lord entered me into a vision. I was standing on the threshold of the universe and before me was the vast expanse of eternity with the entire thing packed down running over with grace; a heady, sweet, thick fragrance of our Lord. And I was given a dipper and given the privilege of dipping of this grace and distributing it all around the world. Dipping and pouring out grace here, dipping and pouring out grace there, again and again and again.
In the time since I’ve come to learn that grace is the awareness and deep knowledge that God is big enough for every single thing in our lives. Meaning, there is nothing beyond his grace, nothing beyond his compassion, nothing beyond his knowing and understanding.
Now, grace is not a pardon or a pass per se, its not a concession and it carries no grief or guilt. It demands no reckoning for the reckoning has already been done in the work of Jesus Christ. It is complete and free for the taking.
Grace is a mighty, active, alive, vibrant, work of our Lord that does not just relieve us from sin but changes the entire way we see and do life.
Where before we may have been fearful, pinched in our expectations, narrow in our thinking, grace introduces us to the expansive thought, perspective and heart of our God.
“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.” Isaiah 1:18
The entire first chapter of Isaiah is a litany of the abhorrent attitudes and useless sacrifices of the people. They were not a changed people. Sure they continued making sacrifices and bringing burnt offerings but they did not enter into the transformation of the Lord.
And as the Lord lays this disastrous way of being out for them, nearly right smack in the middle is this verse, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”
God in active, passionate investment of his very self has taken care of the problem. The only thing we must do, is admit we need the help, that we need him.
Continuing to bring our sacrifices and our burnt offerings proves we do not yet know our Lord. For our Lord is grace.
Continuing to try to make things right, to prove up, to do better next time, proves we do not yet know our Lord.
For our Lord is grace.
Grace says, “Stop trying so hard. Repent yes, and then rest in my work done for you. I’ve taken care of the divide between us. Put down every single thing that you hold between yourself and me. Put down your shame. Put down your self hatreds. Put down your guilt. Put down your disqualifications. I have made it right, I have made us right. Enter into me.”
As we turn the corner into 2014 Capturing Courage International turns five years old. Five years is not a long time but it seems like ages ago since I was ‘back there’.
In the time since we’ve come into our own and are settled in the movement of the Lord through us as we work alongside pastoral colleagues across the seas.
It is an inexplicable thing these passions of our hearts that become organizations with clear work and value to bring. Growing up an idea from vague inclination into solid, sustainable, renewable action, investment and relationships is a journey all its own.
Looking ahead I cannot tell exactly how the next five years will play out. The groundwork has been laid; 2013 was all about due diligence. We’ve been securing our behind the scenes foundations of curriculum, finance, and values; it has been a good but hard year.
Going forward we do so in the name and the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. Within the light of our Lord, tucked into the love of the Father, in sync with our Holy Spirit, we are in good hands.
In our society that has become very spiritual it is easy to mistake warm fuzzy feelings with prayer. Most everyone I know will send up prayers for those in need. We are wired to do this and it is one way to express our emotions regarding the situations and circumstances of others.
Within this I’ve known people who genuinely believe that as they send warm thoughts to another that this will make a difference for the person. That somehow in our warm cozy north american beds that warm thoughts sent out into the universe will put an end to poverty or sexual trafficking or …
This kind of thinking and belief comes across as most ridiculous in the wake of enormous tragedy such as the recent typhoon in the Philippines, the tsunamis in Japan, and earthquakes in India, just to name a few. In the face of photographs that mark unimaginable catastrophe it seems ridiculous to me to read responses such as “I’m sending positive thoughts your way.”
Really?
Now, for myself and in the work that I do I am often telling people in very dire straights that I am praying for them. Sometimes I wonder how lame this must sound and feel. Sometimes, in light of the huge need, it feels that I am no different than these folks who send warm positive thoughts.
And yet I know it is different.
It is different because true prayer is grounded in a person. True prayer reckons on God who is bigger and mightier than us. Prayer that makes a difference acknowledges our own lack and the Lord’s own greatness. My warm fuzzy thoughts will not make a difference for anyone.
Prayer after all is hard work. I’m not so sure that positive thoughts are hard work unless one calls willful denial hard. For prayer doesn’t push away difficulty and pain and loss and grief but instead draws them into the heart and lays them before God.
Prayer isn’t about setting aside all potential negative results from our mind rather it is about entering into and bringing those very things into the throne room of heaven and advocating solutions and peace instead. Prayer is about agreeing with our Lord that the assignments unto death have no power any longer.
Sometimes its about speaking these things out, sometimes its about carrying these things in our being as though birthing a great desire. Prayer is participation in all that has gone wrong and in all that can be made right. Prayer doesn’t deny tragedy and it doesn’t deny goodness, it holds both firmly together and in that dichotomy of all that we know makes a space for God to work.
But unless we have agreed in our own personal lives to life instead of death, to God’s ways instead of Satan’s ways, unless we have come under the covering of the Lord Jesus Christ personally, it is pretty hard to advocate life for another if we’ve not even found it for ourselves.
It’s pretty hard to advocate peace for others until we’ve found it ourselves; pretty hard to declare solutions unless we know the solution maker. For belief isn’t just for belief sake. Belief is grounded in the person of Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father and the presence of our Holy Spirit.
Prayer here, in this context, is a powerful thing indeed.
It’s so much more than positive (may I say wishful) thinking.
Prayer after all isn’t about us. It’s not about how positive or sympathetic we can be.
Prayers that make a difference do so because they acknowledge the One who can make a difference.
“The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16b
At each church I visited in Mozambique there was time given for testimony from their people. After all the singing and before the message the women would sing until someone stood to share at which time they would stop singing. As soon as the person was finished their few sentences the women would start in singing once more. This rhythm of song and sharing was repeated until each person who wanted had shared.
I visited 9 churches and they were all the same in this regard. Even the songs being sung were similar in style and cadence except for one church. In Mutarara it was different.
When I had first arrived in the area it was after sun-set. I was given a seat and all around and before me were the children sitting. They had been waiting for me and once I arrived they drew in close.
Now in a land with no lights after dark I sorta shine like a glow-worm with my one little bit of flashlight. At least I assume I do. As for the ones around me I couldn’t see them whatsoever. I could tell though that the boys in front of me were scolding and hitting and jostling each other.
At first I was horrified. Gosh, they hate each other I thought. But over the course of my few days there I realized that Mutarara is just a hard land and the people themselves were hard to match; strength for strength, stamina for stamina. And it showed up in their song during testimony time.
The women broke into song as I’d seen everywhere else, but their song was a deep mournful lament.
It was beautiful and stunning. It felt more real to me than all of the happy upbeat songs I’d heard everywhere else. It rang more true and captured the difficulty of the land and the lives who lived there.
I was reminded how much I love lament and of the beauty woven through an honesty of sorrow. It caught my heart and I so wish I had recorded their song on my phone.
All I could do was bask in the beauty of their honest hearts before the Lord, a common reckoning of difficulty and its ability to strengthen us and to in fact make us glad.
Lament is an important part of our experience in this life. After all Christ himself was a man of sorrows. Will we join him?
Some years ago I knew a woman who was dying. She had an inoperable disease and was simply facing each new day with a strength that only comes when someone is facing death.
In the midst of her last few months she confided to me, “I look back over my life and I realize all the things I have not cried over, and now I don’t have the time.”
And in these few simple words is the truth to the power and beauty of lament, of tear, of grief. How it must be undergone in this life or we’ve lost our chance.
Where might you lament today?
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
There is a portion of my life that could very well be a failure at the moment. I don’t completely know. From a number of outward appearances this would appear to be so and yet I know it will take some years in fact to really render a verdict.
I suspect that by that time it will prove to not be a failure, but at the moment I’m not so sure.
And the question comes to mind, how do we walk in failure? If this particular scenario is in fact failure how do I navigate it? By what do I move forward?
Some years ago at Church there was a young intern and he preached one of his first sermons one Sunday morning. It was the worst sermon I’d ever heard.
I was sitting near the front and as I squirmed under the boredom and wished I had sat at the back, “Why hadn’t I sat at the back?!” I wailed in my spirit (so I could leave of course), the Lord said this to me, “Cyndy, if I asked you to preach and you did as bad a job as this, would you still do what I asked of you?”
I was struck. Of course! It’s not so much the results as the willingness of heart and obedience to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
I learned something that day. I’m remembering it now.
This situation that just might be proven a failure was undertaken with much forethought. It wasn’t gone into lightly and all the potential down-sides were reckoned at the front end. The pieces that were out of my control had been counted as well as all the upsides and potentials and opportunities.
Yet here I am. Some years in and realizing this may have been a big mistake.
From what I can tell I’m about half-way through to any firm sense of conclusion. There is no way back and I cannot force success on this one. Nor can I rush through to a sooner ending.
My gut says it won’t be a failure but it sure feels like one at the moment.
So what do we do when we are in the midst of what might be failure that might be a success that might really turn out to be a failure?
First off, we stay the course.
Too often we rush around changing our minds and our commitments. And this never accomplished anything.
Part of being bold and courageous is the boldness and courage to fail – big time if one must.
Part of any success is the willingness to walk on the edge of failure.
Part of moving forward is refusing to be bullied by failure.
If fail we must then we will go to it with courage and muster.
Secondly, we hold off our conclusion.
We give it time to really flesh out and prove itself one way or the other.
Holding off conclusion is hard work. It’s the same capacity that doesn’t have to control or fix or make pretty. We don’t rush to micro-manage. We don’t give in to panic.
Here on the edge of failure our holding capacity is grown.
Third, we trust failure to take us forward to success.
If indeed we are in the midst of failure we can be sure that it is a key ingredient to future successes. There are no lessons out of line.
Every piece today is an investment in tomorrow. Even failure.
Perspective is everything. What looks one way today looks another way tomorrow looks another way ten years from now.
It is possible that what we think are successes today will show to be failures and the failures we think we’re living today will prove to be successes.
The line between failure and success is a fine one indeed.
And living on this line requires courage and humility.
The strength of a bull. And the innocence of a kitten.
I’m gathering the courage to fail.
I’m living courageous failure.
Maybe.
Maybe not…
When Jesus Christ came to earth the Jews were under Roman rule. This rule over their lives was heavy- handed and in many cases without justice. The people were suffering. Not unlike many of our own lives today.
The Jews therefore believed that when the Messiah came he would do away with the oppression from their land and lives. They thought he would fix all that was wrong in their worlds.
But of course, Jesus did not do that. Instead, Jesus came with a different plan.
Instead of focussing on the external difficulties and problems Christ directed our attention to our internal heart difficulties. He addressed the problems within our own souls.
But because of this difference in priorities from what the people wanted to what Christ brought, many of the people at that time missed out on Jesus.
They couldn’t see what Jesus was offering due to their preoccupation with their own idea of a savior; they simply wanted their lives fixed.
While we at CCI are certainly not the Christ, we find ourselves running into a similar thinking as we travel and minister in various areas. Often it is assumed that we are bringing money to help with various projects and tangible needs within communities.
We understand this assumption for it has been the way of many missions organizations over the years to, for instance, build buildings and feed orphans and clothe widows. And while there is nothing wrong with this kind of work it is not the work we are called to.
Rather, Capturing Courage International is called to spiritual transformations, heart healing, church renewal, and leadership development. CCI is focussed on the internal state of our hearts before God.
We therefore sometimes feel like Christ might have felt when the people kept expecting him to fix their lives when in actuality he had something much bigger in mind.
We at Capturing Courage believe that God’s priority is not about fixing our lives, rather God’s priority is about entering into our lives with us, growing us stronger in the face of difficulty, and developing us into people of integrity, character, and holiness.
This is the particular work of Capturing Courage Int’l. We come alongside encouraging and equipping, growing and developing your inner core as a person, a leadership team, and a congregation.
If this is something that would be of value to you then let’s continue in relationship and communication and the Lord will indeed meet us mightily as we wait on him together.
because of Jesus,
Cyndy Lavoie and the Team @ Capturing Courage International
As with any para-church organization, as with any start-up of any sort, as with any new church plant, we at Capturing Courage have been walking through financial challenges and lessons for awhile now. And we have learned a lot of things.
I used to shy away from money matters. Money used to frighten me and there was always a sense of confusion about how to navigate choices and decisions regarding money. But of course this didn’t do me any good whatsoever. I used to think that the answer to this confusion would be to have more money. After all, if I wasn’t hindered in my choices perhaps I wouldn’t be so confused.
But large infusions of money are never the answer. I know this now. For if we are not competent in the little we won’t be competent in the much. These last few years have seen us becoming competent in the little. And it’s been a really good thing.
In the midst of the last couple of years a few definitive things have been sorted out within my own being that are now impacting the character and nature of us at CCI (as in any organization the leader sets the tone and standard and growth – the organization won’t grow beyond the leaders growth).
The first thing the Lord did was to separate my sense of self from money. In other words, who I am has nothing to do with, takes no bearing from, where our money is at at any given time. Meaning, if I had debt (I learned this in the midst of debt) I was not a less-than person. God poured into me his love and grace and comfort and leading just the same in debt as in much.
This was the work of many painful months (as the Lord dismembered my unholy soul ties with money – I was way too associated with money), looking back I wouldn’t undo this. For this separation then set into place the ability to have much without it making any statement about myself as well. And as we go forward within the many promises and assurances from the Lord that there is plenty of money for the work called of us it is imperative that much does not speak of us but speaks of our Lord.
In other words, I am the same person whether in want or in wealth. This was a critical first thing to learn and something I learned down to the marrow of my bones. As Paul wrote in Philippians, ” for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” 4:11-12
This journey with money has simply been a process of removing ego from the mix. In any of the things we are called to, but particularly within the spirit realm, there must not be anything of us in the mix. Meaning, where we are in the flesh we are weak and prone to compromise and confusion (and outright attack). Where we are in the spirit things are clear and systematic, genuine and true investments in the kingdom of God.
Ego particularly shows up in money decisions. I recently received a text from one of our Ugandan pastors who was expecting me in January. I had let him know that we had made the decision that I would not travel there in January for a number of reasons. His reply was laden thick with disappointment and it caught at my heart.
All of a sudden, where one day before I was so sure that I wasn’t to travel, I now desperately wanted to head there in January. But upon further study of my heart I realized that there was still woven through me this lie and feeling of being a disappointment. I went before the Lord with it, did some business alongside the spirit, wept and prayed it through, and have come out the other side freer than before.
You see, if our decisions are laden with our own ego and the lies and such woven there, our decisions will be bad ones. And we will end up ineffective and unproductive in the work at hand.
We have made it very clear in our statements about how we decide when and where to travel and that we move according to the Holy Spirit only. We don’t go with our best ideas or anyone else’s for that matter. Yet right there in the midst of feeling a disappointment all of the careful movement with the spirit was almost thrown out the window.
For, with the spirit + not disappointing = really bad decision making.
Ego had to be removed once more from the equation. Money matters and the decisions around them highlight where our ego’s remain in the mix. For in my need (notice, my need, not the Lords) to not disappoint I was ready to bombard our donors for more money and to ‘make it happen’ for January in Uganda.
But in this I would have violated so many of the things we have learned. For instance:
1. Do with what we have.
2. God is not in a rush.
3. Faithful with a little.
4. Trust the timing of each trip.
5. Slow steady growth is best.
6. Do not move with the programs of men.
7. Rest in the Lord and he will provide.
And quite frankly, if the only way we can follow the leading of the Lord and understand his timing is by the money at hand or not at hand, we are still crippled as leaders. If the only thing that tells us that ‘yes now it is time to go to such and such a place’ is the money available we are sunk.
It’s one of the other things I’ve been learning and that must still be fully realized in my being, that money is a non-entity. That in the kingdom of God money holds no more power than a flea on the ground. It is us who give way too much power to money. It is us who exaggerate its voice.
To truly move by the Spirit would be the ability (for us at CCI) to hold back even with much money in the bank. For are we making rational decisions alongside the spirit or emotional decisions alongside money?
Our hearts want to go everywhere today. As we continue building and investing and showing up in relationship after relationship my own heart is torn and tested time and again. We cannot go everywhere at once. I’m not even so sure we can go everywhere in this coming year. So how do we decide?
What I do know, is that we wait on the leading and the guiding of the Holy Spirit. We put aside our own best thoughts and wisdoms and we truly wait. Then, when the Lord says, ‘Go’, then we go, and not before. At the same time when the Lord says, ‘Go’ we make our plans in the provision of the Lord even if we cannot see it all at the front end.
Money is simply passion and energy and vision and we call it forth in surrender and service to the leading of our Lord. The lack of it will not lead us, the much of it will not lead us. Rather, we are led by the Spirit of our Living God.
As we surrender again and again to this way of being alongside our Lord we create a space, we lead the way, we set the stage, we model to money that it too must surrender to this way. Money must also bow itself to the timing and direction of our Lord here at CCI.
Amen and amen in the name and the blood of our Living Lord Jesus Christ.
With all glory to you Father.
Worship is an important part of our lives as believers. Each Sunday around the globe finds multitudes coming together in praise to our Lord.
But what if worship is more than singing and dancing before God? What if worship is intertwined throughout our lives and the manner of our hearts?
I propose that worship is much more than what we think it is; lets take a look and see.
In my work both abroad and at home it has become apparent that not all pastors or christians are in sync with the Holy Spirit.
Now, this is not a surprising statement of course, and yet it has been surprising to me to encounter believers who have one whole ‘knowing system’ seemingly silent; it is the effect of this on their lives that has caught my attention.
In the person unable to discern the spirit there seems a preponderance to rely on the brain, their own best thoughts, needing rules, falling back on theology even. A reservation of soul that borders on fear, it’s gods safety, surety and control.
Or it may show up in the one whom mimics the prayers and preaching of others without any real sense of leading or direction, just determination to do it ‘like them’. An expression of passion but without sense (and without the spirit.)
I’ve initially encountered this in gatherings where one person will continue praying long past everyone else gone silent. I’ve found it at crusades where someone will go on speaking after the spirit has lifted. Everyone knows something is off except for the one carrying on.
And I’m reminded of the verse in Proverbs that points out, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable , But he who restrains his lips is wise.” (10:19)
I’ve seen it play out in the desire to manufacture what happened in one place onto another place. Where we are tempted to take the Spirit and the work of God and make it into commodity that can simply be transferred from one location to the next.
(Maybe I am missing something, but everywhere I go there are different needs and therefore different responses and offerings from the Spirit.)
I’ve seen this lack of spirit-knowing in the inability to navigate nuance in kingdom life. Rules would be much more comfortable thank-you very much. “Just tell me what is right and what is wrong. Then I can rest.”
But spirit life is a relationship. Not a set of rules. Not a list of right and wrong. It is why John wrote,
“But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true–it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.” 1 John 2:27
We had finally boarded the train, after a long night at the train station. The sun was rising and we were getting on our way.
It was a crowded train but thankfully Whisky had gone ahead of us and found four seats near each other.
Trains in Mozambique are open cars with wracks overhead for luggage and groups of seats, two at a time, facing each other, each seat fitting 3 adults.
Pastor Daniel and Isabel and their daughter settled into one of the seats across the aisle opposite another family. Whisky and I settled into a seat opposite a young mom and her two children.
She wore a shirt that read, ‘Staring at me won’t make me like you’ which seemed highly appropriate considering her stone-cold face as I tried to smile a greeting.
At first I was straight across from her, but then as we later shifted seats Whisky was the one directly opposite her.
Now Whisky was my translator for the trip. He tirelessly translated all my words into Portuguese or Sena or one of the other local languages as needed, and then translated all their words into english for me.
From village to village and all the ways in between I’d been honoured to watch Whisky and his heart for people. In Chupanga he took up an impromptu ‘sunday school class’ with the children as we waited for others to arrive at the church (we could have gone immediately home after that, seemed to be all the church we needed, so thick was the worship of those moments).
I’d seen his action when something needed attending to, his sacrifice of giving something he owned to another who had even less, of engaging people and drawing out of them their stories and his great compassion in return.
And nearly immediately upon sitting opposite this young mom he began a conversation. She entered in hesitantly at first, yet Whisky has a way of building rapport, of engaging humour and simply making people feel very comfortable with themselves and him.
So bit by bit the two conversed. She began to smile. Over the course of the next hour I watched a transformation right before my eyes. It is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever beheld.
Her eyes began to shine. She answered shyly yet confidently. She sat a little taller.
My words feel so inadequate to describe this…
I’d been speaking for over a week by this time about the power that men have to bring a shining to their woman’s eyes and countenance.
And here, right before me I watched this exact transformation take place. With a little regard, some eye contact, genuine concern, real love, a woman was drawn out of her shell and simply appreciated.
We had quite a few hours on this journey and after awhile I turned to Whisky and said, “You do realize that you have made her week, her month. She will be forever marked by your regard and the conversation of your hearts.”
It struck me that the exact spiritual authority (that personal carrying and embodiment of a message) necessary to stand alongside all the words I’d been speaking was carried by Whisky. Everything I’d been saying he had been living.
I told him so and thanked him sincerely.
Before our trip was up we had fellowshipped with this gal. We shared our bread and cookies, pop and water. The kids settled down in this space that Whisky created. Her hard face that had first met me became soft and genuine, shining and smiling.
All because a stranger took the time to care and the risk to engage, an investment of regard, and conversation that welcomed and invited.
Before we said our good-bye’s Whisky asked to take her picture to which she bashfully agreed. And when I smiled my goodbye I was met with shining, soft eyes and a ready grin.
