Category Archives: Cyndy @ Capturing Courage

As founding and executive director at Capturing Courage Int’l, Cyndy shares her own journey’s through life and ministry. You can also find her at cyndylavoie.com

BIRTHDAY TIME!

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Hello Today! You may not know but Thursday, October 25th is our Director’s Birthday. We don’t really need to tell how old Cyndy will be. Suffice to say, another year older!

In celebration of this we are sharing one of our current projects and inviting you to financially partner with us in this way.

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Click Here to Head Over to GoFund-ME

In collaboration with another, we are working on a book, a manual of sorts, about RESTORING THE WEAVE, of our lives.

All of us have experienced rips and tears in the fabric of our own lives, certainly in the fabric of our communities.

Over the years as I’ve been teaching wholeheartedness it is as though we’ve been opening great gifts of wisdom and insight about healing and wholeness, for ourselves, for each other, and for our communities and even nations.

This is what this book will teach and convey, via both words and pictures. Restoring the weave, till there are no more tears, is possible as we engage wholeheartedness for ourselves and others.

I am so excited to be working on this at this time. Furthermore, as Capturing Courage International Ministries , we are compelled to trust a vision of giving this book away around the world in the years to come!

So, all this to say, would you join us in this endeavour. It is a big work!

Our costs in the end, will be much beyond $10,000.00, but we are glad to begin with this goal in mind.

Bless you for your partnership with us in this creative offering to a world caught in chaos; RESTORING THE WEAVE, one unto another, for you, for me, for everyone.

There will be much artwork to convey the principles and life-giving ah-ha’s in this work. This image below, as well as the primary image on this page are just two of the images so far.

As we go along we will be sharing more about the process and the journey together in the midst and alongside.

To those who partner with us we will give even more inside scoops on the artwork, the writing, and the stories and insights as it all comes together.

Again, thank you for partnering with us! You Bless us to bits.

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Bearing God

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I learned the power of fasting years ago. It was during the start of my own inner healing journey. I was scheduled for prayer ministry every second week and I made a commitment to myself to fast for the twenty-four hours leading up to and through my appointments.

I never really could pinpoint the power of that fasting at the time but I did know the power of those prayer sessions, they changed my life. A few years later a friend was experiencing her own set of prayer ministry yet she confided to me that she wasn’t getting much out of them, that God still seemed distant and her heart was not touched.

I suggested that she fast the twenty-four hours leading up to and through her sessions and the next week she reported a profound new depth in her experience of prayer and of healing before the Lord; it was a night and day difference to what had been before.

There is something about fasting that removes our coping mechanisms, our veneers, our defences. When we give up food for a time we are brought low in need and the ultimate sort of preoccupation with self. And in that reminder of our hunger we turn to God with a heart serious on receiving His help; we can’t do this on our own.

As the years progressed and I began ministering in prayer myself there were many a time when I would awake in a morning and was not really hungry and so I would eat very little. Later in the day I would come to find that so-and-so needs an emergency prayer session and then I would know, “Oh that is why I ate so little today.” Many times the Lord orchestrated my fasting without my prior knowledge.

Not only is fasting for ourselves but fasting enters us into spiritual work alongside the Lord Jesus Christ; our understanding is heightened and our perceptions are clearer.

In more recent years my fasting has taken on various modes. I rarely fast food any more and I’ve learned not to fast unless the Holy Spirit explicitly directs me. For fasting must never be used as a manipulative tool to get what we want. It is never a good idea to take what worked here and try to make it work there.

Our walks with the Lord must never become business, never a product that we transfer from here to there thinking that it worked so well there, why not here? Relationship with God is not something to be taken lightly and so we do not move according to our own best wisdom or ideas and this includes fasting.

In recent years as I’ve travelled and ministered overseas each trip is preceded by some sort of fasting. God woos me and invites me to join him and his work, entering into the holy of holies. My first trip was preceded by six weeks of no makeup; no easy feat at the time. Since then I’ve fasted jewelry and tea amongst other things; not easy either if you know me.

I find fasting closely linked to a nesting type experience where all of who I am is entered into silence and heart preparation for a spiritual work to come. Because we at CCI move at the explicit direction of the Holy Spirit and not before, this fasting and nesting is in fact one of the first things to alert me to a trip and to ministry to come. I’ve learned to watch for it and pay attention to it; when my spirit hunkers down there is the Lord’s work for me around the corner.

Fasting is no longer for myself per se, it’s not by my volition but rather it’s an act of preparation and coming alongside the Lord with a tangible and physical sign and commitment that I agree with what is to come and his use of me; I am glad to be alongside God in this way. He directs it and enables it, enables me.

My first trip in 2014 is back to Uganda. We’ve not yet settled on the exact month but I can feel it coming. Thoughts have moved from my mind to my heart and are now settling in my spirit and I’m entering into the nesting and the birthing that precedes a work of the Lord.

This bearing of a work is hard work. The heart of God presses down on me and I become his bearer in a way, birthing him.

Courageous Failure

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There is a portion of my life that could very well be a failure at the moment. I don’t completely know. From a number of outward appearances this would appear to be so and yet I know it will take some years in fact to really render a verdict.

I suspect that by that time it will prove to not be a failure, but at the moment I’m not so sure.

And the question comes to mind, how do we walk in failure? If this particular scenario is in fact failure how do I navigate it? By what do I move forward?

Some years ago at Church there was a young intern and he preached one of his first sermons one Sunday morning. It was the worst sermon I’d ever heard.

I was sitting near the front and as I squirmed under the boredom and wished I had sat at the back, “Why hadn’t I sat at the back?!” I wailed in my spirit (so I could leave of course), the Lord said this to me, “Cyndy, if I asked you to preach and you did as bad a job as this, would you still do what I asked of you?”

I was struck. Of course! It’s not so much the results as the willingness of heart and obedience to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

I learned something that day. I’m remembering it now.

This situation that just might be proven a failure was undertaken with much forethought. It wasn’t gone into lightly and all the potential down-sides were reckoned at the front end. The pieces that were out of my control had been counted as well as all the upsides and potentials and opportunities.

Yet here I am. Some years in and realizing this may have been a big mistake.

From what I can tell I’m about half-way through to any firm sense of conclusion. There is no way back and I cannot force success on this one. Nor can I rush through to a sooner ending.

My gut says it won’t be a failure but it sure feels like one at the moment.

So what do we do when we are in the midst of what might be failure that might be a success that might really turn out to be a failure?

First off, we stay the course. 

Too often we rush around changing our minds and our commitments. And this never accomplished anything.

Part of being bold and courageous is the boldness and courage to fail – big time if one must.

Part of any success is the willingness to walk on the edge of failure.

Part of moving forward is refusing to be bullied by failure.

If fail we must then we will go to it with courage and muster.

Secondly, we hold off our conclusion.

We give it time to really flesh out and prove itself one way or the other.

Holding off conclusion is hard work. It’s the same capacity that doesn’t have to control or fix or make pretty. We don’t rush to micro-manage. We don’t give in to panic.

Here on the edge of failure our holding capacity is grown.

Third, we trust failure to take us forward to success. 

If indeed we are in the midst of failure we can be sure that it is a key ingredient to future successes. There are no lessons out of line.

Every piece today is an investment in tomorrow. Even failure.

Perspective is everything. What looks one way today looks another way tomorrow looks another way ten years from now.

It is possible that what we think are successes today will show to be failures and the failures we think we’re living today will prove to be successes.

The line between failure and success is a fine one indeed.

And living on this line requires courage and humility.

The strength of a bull. And the innocence of a kitten.

I’m gathering the courage to fail.

I’m living courageous failure.

Maybe.

Maybe not…

Spiritual Authority Course Progress Report

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023Good news at Capturing Courage – we have completed Workbook Four of our Walking in Spiritual Authority Course and are set to complete part two of the international version for our indigenous colleagues.

This will take a good month or more to complete so please keep us in your prayers as we embark on this next task.

So far the Capturing God’s Heart material is going out to over 4400 christian leaders, which is in turn being passed on to an estimated 150,000 people.

The Spiritual Authority course is currently in the hands of a dozen christian leaders as we test run the material. We simply commit this course to the glory of God and the equipping of his people.

“Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you.” Proverbs 4:5-6

To donate to the work of Capturing Courage CLICK HERE

Re-Crafting

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P1230099Our Walking in Spiritual Authority course went well in Madudu, Uganda. We are thanking the Lord for his presence amidst it all.

Re-crafting the material for an overseas audience has been most interesting. Most of the metaphors used here for our own culture have been completely off the mark for third world countries.

For instance, one of the pictures we paint (imagine with me) here in Canada is that of a small frog on a lily pad. The frog looks content enough but zoomed in we cannot see much of the frog’s context.

So we zoom our lens out and get and see a bit more about the frog’s surroundings. We see that there is a lot of other lily pads, and much more activity going on around the frog than our first picture.

If we zoom out again we see that frog’s world is in fact very large. So large in fact that frog may not have even explored to the edges of this world. There is much for frog to do, much to see.

And then we zoom out one last time, and lo and behold frog lives in a beautiful garden of luxuriant foliage, beautiful water features and unexplored paths. It is stunning and so much more than frog can most likely even imagine.

I tell this story to bring to life that here in North America we have made our worlds very small, when in fact the world is very big. We stay within our nice little lives when in fact there is a much bigger world waiting for us, that is not scary, but rather beautiful and vibrant – if we will just trust God to take us beyond our safety zone.

Well writing this story for our overseas colleagues doesn’t work. I tried. I have a nice little picture of a lizard on a rock from one of my trips, and so I thought I could write the same progression from focussed in life to big picture living.

But it doesn’t work, and isn’t even culturally relevant. For starters, we zoom out from the African lizard on the rock and we do not get nicer, we get more barren. Consider zooming out and out and out in Kenya’s dry grasslands and the picture does not gain in complexity but actually increases in dry and dusty. The metaphor doesn’t work.

In the rewriting of the material I realized that not only does the picture not work, but that the people themselves need something completely different.

The Pastors and Evangelists that I have met have a very good idea of the world as a big place. And they are forging forward into the very big world quite successfully. There is a resilience to go out of the their comfort zone that seems quite normal in Africa.

So I switched the metaphor. I began with a zoomed out view of many, many people, and then began focusing in. Bit by bit, taking in country, and towns and villages, and then finally family down to one person.

While in North America we need God to prick our consciences about the bigger world, in Africa they need to know that God loves them intimately and personally. The lesson is, God loves you. God forgives you. God knows you and has called you to himself.

This is just one example of the many changes I’ve had to make to the Walking in Spiritual Authority course – but changes we are glad to make in service to our overseas colleagues.

We invite you to support this work with a monthly $30 subscription. Every little bit goes a long way.

All donations will receive a charitable receipt.

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Investing Mommyness

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real emotions and strong livesI began my own mothering journey some twenty-five years ago. At the time I had no idea the years to come and the full hearts and years of being a Mom.

Today I look back and I am simply so glad that I invested years into the lives of my children. I’m also deeply thankful for the profound strengths that they built into me.

The journey of motherhood is fraught with emotion and momentum, with service beyond what we think we can do, and with the unaccountable at every turn. Mothering is hard work.

Yet the privilege of carrying lives in our hearts is just that, a profound privilege.

And it is not unlike our opportunity in service to others around our world. All ministry is the heart of a mother’s heart. It is the courage to carry another in the heart, to resonate with dreams and priorities different than our own.

Being a Mom simply makes our hearts bigger – and into this expanded place of love we have much to pour out into other lives. Once made strong we have strength to give to others.

This is the privilege of being a Mom.

It is meant to take us beyond ourselves, and into the world.

Our bodies, as women, are prohibited from bearing children for our entire lives. It appears that the Lord set it up so our years as Mom would in fact be limited, for there is just so much more of the world that needs the strength of Moms.

The lessons learned as Mom are to be taken out there. While we are nurtured in our homes and with our families, the goal of all nurturing is to make strong people, to instill confidence and skill sets that can serve a wider audience.

This applies to Moms as well. The most resilient and strong people on the planet are Moms.

So, harness up your life, and invest it in something bigger than yourself. You’ve already been doing this for years no doubt, where might you like it to go now?

Anointing

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Anointing

Anointing – I wrote this today over on my cyndylavoie.com site – enjoy!

I am always struck by the story in Mark 14 of the woman anointing Jesus’ feet.

Now I have anointed people. Quite regularly the Spirit leads me to place my hands on someone, often a client I am working with, a Pastor overseas whom I’ve been ministering alongside, or a fellow prophet here at home, and I know the ‘work’ of anointing.

There is an authority in anointing that is unlike any other kind of work. It is a work that goes beyond simple affirmation to that place of allowing God’s power to flow through and onto another for an express purpose in the Spirit realm.

It is also a work that taxes ones being. There is always ‘power that has gone out’ to quote Jesus words (when another woman touched the hem of his robe one day).

Anointing requires an investment of self in a way, it is an opening of one’s spirit to allow the breath of God to blow through onto another, with the velocity and strength of the anointing differing from one person to another as determined by the Lord.

It’s why the story of the woman at Jesus’ feet, with her alabaster jar of expensive perfume stands me in delight and wonder at the spiritual and personal investment she made at that moment.

We think the expense was the perfume, but imagine if you will being the one compelled to anoint the son of God.

What kind of risking, what kind of surrender, what kind of eyes that could see bigger than her immediate circumstances and the norm of her day.

She was called into a holy act that would have her putting all of her own self aside, her self talk, her insecurities, her concern with what others might think, everything would have been put aside to enter into a simple yet profound act of service.

Thing is, we too are called to such humility.

We are called to the same kind of surrender.

Called into a way of being that puts our own selves aside, where we ignore our insecurities, where we say ‘shush’ to the naysayers, and where in accord with the compelling of God almighty we simply invest ourselves in profound acts of service.

To our King and one to another.

International Women’s Day

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P1230558 compressedOn this International Women’s Day it seems right to post an old paraphrase that I once did of Proverbs 31 – May this bless you today.

An Excellent Femininity:

The Proverbs 31 Woman Paraphrased

 

An excellent femininity who can find?

SHE has more dimensions than any precious jewel.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

she invests in her man’s prosperity.

Perceiving what is good for him (and while refusing harm),

she fully engages—

good is her investment in their years together.

With a ready spirit and an honest and enterprising heart she does not turn from the challenges of what she wants.

Because of this her world is large and she gleans from numerous resources for the benefit of her family.

Actively engaging her own needs and the needs of her family, she rises to meet each day with gladness and an eager spirit;

extending without prejudice a “welcome to the day”

to those about her.

Taking calculated risks her decision making finds profit

enabling her to invest yet again in more of her tomorrows.

She is strong in her inner self, her body too is strong, and in this her self respect is evident.
Rightly understanding what she has to bring to the table

as valuable, she offers it boldly.

When life is hard and all is ‘night’ she continues on

in the light of her God.

She is okay with menial tasks; it doesn’t have to be all about drama. She is not so overworked that she is not aware of,

nor unable to reach out to needs of others; her life has margin.

Hardships to come do not frighten her, for she

dresses her household in the blood of Christ daily in her prayers.

Refusing the temptation to neglect her own being, she cares for herself as diligently as anyone else;

And in her bearing and dress it’s clear she’s a daughter of The King.

Her husband, having his own something to offer

and in the bounty of her respect and respite freely offered him,

courageously takes his rightful place of influence.

She is not afraid of the marketplace, for knowing she has something worthy to offer confidently finds her place among it;

the marketplace is richer for her essence.

Her presence speaks of strength and dignity and from

an inner serenity with past and present

she delights to consider what her future holds for her.

Her mouth dispenses wisdom, her words, her spirit, and her manner model kindness and graciousness.

She is not lazy, but sacrifices and prioritizes in the care of her home and those in it.

Her children grow and one day thank her.

Her husband loves her.

The mere form of femininity is a lie, but a woman who risks to shine in all she is created to be by her God will have substance

worthy of praise.

Give her the fruit of her hands,

and may her reputation be known by all.

It is Okay

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310 compressed314 compressedLong years back I made this dress for my first daughter. A lot of work and care and effort went into this dress. What you can’t see is it has a crinoline and a little slip all attached underneath.

The collar is cross-stitched and in itself took some 10-20 hours to complete. The ruffling is by hand as well as the ribbon detailing.

When I look at this dress (I saved it along with the others I made my daughter her first five years) I am reminded of how well I wanted life to go. I’m reminded of the hopes and dreams and all-good intentions of making life as pretty as this little dress.

A few years before this dress when I was contemplating marriage I must admit there were a few red flags. My heart was not completely settled by any means, and yet into the conversations I would have with the Lord was the admonition, “It will be okay.”

Long story short, the years turned out far worse than I had ever imagined anything could be. But I look back and I see it truly has been okay, in the biggest broadest sense of the term.

The big picture of my life required those hard years. My heart had to be freed. My thinking had to be changed. My perspectives had to be transformed.

I had to come to know the deep love of God regardless of circumstance and surroundings.

I needed to find God in the midst of hunger, despair, loneliness, heartache, fear, and poverty.

And I did indeed find God in all these things and ways and then some. My hearts rough edges were smoothed to a shiny gloss. The part of me that needed everything pretty-as-a-pin now knows that external beauty and peace means nothing if there is not beauty and peace in ones inner being.

Fast-forward some two-dozen years and on the morning after my four-month old granddaughter Anna died in her sleep and I heard her say to me, “It’s okay Nana” I was ready to bank on that.

There wasn’t a part of me that did not know that it was okay. Really. Truly.

Has it all turned out like I thought? Barely a speck of it!

Is it okay? You bet.

So now, when I sit with my grandson Dorian on my lap, or think of my kids and those they will choose as spouses, the career decisions they are making, the educations gone after or not, I know that we don’t know how any of it will turn out.

The life of this little one Dorian we have no way of predicting. Will his life have challenges? Yes

Will he know heartache and struggle? You bet.

Yet will it be okay? Yes and amen.

I can sit with my grandchildren and with my kids with peace in the midst of the unknown, with joy in the midst of sadness, for with a heart that does not need anything perfect or nice, this bright red thread of peace and joy runs through all the muck and the mire, the unexpected and the difficult.

Because in the difficult our hearts are made expansive. In the unexpected we become resilient. In the unknown our faith is grown. And in sadness we find joy.

Our life’s expanse has room for more people. Our resilience makes way for new strengths. Our faith spurs on new life. And joy, well joy is never taken away. Once we have it, once we know it, everything changes.

We think we must have the good and the worthy to invest in the Kingdom of God. Nothing is farther from the truth. We must first start by offering our losses and our failures, our incomprehensible realities. Only then do we truly get God as good and trustworthy and honoring.

And only then can we invest out and about to those we meet regardless of their circumstances.

Quite frankly, until we are okay with it not being okay, we will never meet others in the midst of their pain. Until we are okay with loss we can never sit in companionship alongside others loss.

Until we have come face to face with our own poverty of soul we will never truly be able to fellowship in the poorest places on earth.

And until we know it doesn’t have to be perfect we have little to offer but grinding expectations and dishonest reckonings.

Bottom line, none of it is okay, but that is okay.

For we, we are simply okay.

Bucket List

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Cyndy LavoieI’ve never been ambitious in the traditional sense of the word. Never really had any burning desire to travel, had little inclination to jump out of planes (okay, no inclination), and haven’t ever been very daring when it comes to my personal physical being (ladders too high scare me).

I don’t ski, I don’t windsurf, I don’t even jog. Until I went to Uganda I would have chosen to stay off of a motorcycle thank-you-very-much. Mountains are pretty to look at but I don’t need to climb them.

Long story short I’ve struggled making a bucket list. You know, that list of things we would love to do before we die, before we kick the bucket?

Well I’ve not really had one. Until I realized that of course I do – it just looks very different than what I was expecting. So different in fact that I almost missed it.

Yet stirring deep in my being, for some time now, have been the following desires, and it has occurred to me that this is my bucket list.

1. I want to be transported in the Spirit to a gathering of believers across the seas.

2.  I want to board a plane without having bought a ticket, my ticket just being there by the Lord.

3. I want to raise the dead to life.

4. I want to heal bodies.

5. I want to meet and minister to Moses and Elijah when they sit in sackcloth on the streets of Jerusalem, maybe give them a bottle of water each.

6. I want to be a New York Times bestselling author.

7. I want someone to recognize the language I am speaking when I speak in tongues.

8. I want to pray and declare emotional and spiritual freedom over multitudes.

9. I want to have my children alongside me in ministry.

10. I want to receive a gem-stone supernaturally from the Lord.

11. I want to walk under an open heaven.

12. I want to see nations transformed by the power of God’s immense love and grace.

And that’s it. Twelve relatively simple things. This list feels quite doable but only because of who my God is. Not one of these can I make happen on my own. They all require collaboration of the highest order.

And something about that tickles me pink, and leaves me very excited.

So Sad

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new perspectiveMy weekend has been one of sadness.

Now sadness is an interesting thing. Years back I learned to be sad. Rather than fighting sadness I learned to roll with the pain, sitting in the sadness till the sadness lifted and I wasn’t sad anymore.

I am pretty sure that we all have sadness from time to time. I don’t think that I am any stranger or sadder than the rest of us.

At the same time, I get the distinct impression that most are not okay with sadness, that when someone is sad we rush to fix it.

My sadness of these past few days are a combination of a personal sadness of mine, added to a spiritual carrying of another’s sadness, added to a spirit of sadness that settled on me from an outside source.

It’s been quite a bit all at once and yet the only real difficulty in it all has simply been that I am very tired.

It was two years ago today that a friend of mine lost her son. It was a tragic accident and the marked loss has remained as sharp as ever. My friend relives the knife-cutting death of her son nearly every day, the sadness these last few days being particularly pointed.

I am helping to carry her sadness.

Another friend has buried anger and bitterness and these horrific lies coming at her (and out of her) about the origins and journey of her life. Over the weekend I came face to face with the power of these lies, and in it was nearly stifled with an immense sadness that permeated my soul.

I am experiencing her deep sadness.

To top it all off, I’ve a relationship of my own that is not doing so well. With bumps and hurdles the pain of that relationship has been most acute this past week. I don’t know what the answers are. There is no immediate help for the difficulties.

I am moving through my own sadness.

Years back I learned that it is okay to not be okay. I still remember the relief of finding that out and even more profound I realized that God is in the worst of it at all times.

I was going through a crazy difficult time that had me simply wanting to run. I was overwhelmed and in an over-loaded state of being. Everything around me was hard. I was exhausted.

And to my mind’s eye came an image of a gigantic pile of manure. You know, the kind you order for your garden each year and that sits in the driveway until it is all distributed.

Or if you live on a farm, that heap of manure to which more is added day by day.

Imagine that pile of manure as big as can be. Now imagine that this is how my life was. My entire life. One gigantic pile of poo. (it is how it felt at the time)

And to my mind’s eye came the crystal clear realization that God was in the center of the crap. That God was right there for me in the midst of all that was bad and wrong, as long as I didn’t run.

That instead of turning in the opposite direction I could enter into the difficulty and I would find even more of God.

I learned that God is in the shit.

All of it, all the time.

Personally I’ve hardly been more relieved by any other theology than this one. This theology meets us in the center of the worst of circumstance and the middle of profound sadness.

Even though we are sad, we don’t have to do it alone.

So I am doing my part joining in and carrying sadness for others. It’s not something I necessarily run to do and yet I am aware of the honor and the privilege of entering into the midst of others difficulties with a prophetic work of sharing the pain.

It is part of God’s Kingdom and part of God’s work.

For whom might you be sad today?