Category Archives: Cyndy @ Capturing Courage

As founding and executive director at Capturing Courage Int’l, Cyndy shares her own journey’s through life and ministry. You can also find her at cyndylavoie.com

Lessons

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real emotions and strong livesI am the Mom of five kids. They are mostly grown, and over the years I’ve been a relatively unorthodox Mom in many ways.

Pretty laid back, seeing the big picture, relaxed and generally trusting, they too have come to realize that I’m a bit abnormal as Moms go.

Over the years they themselves have affirmed, “Wow Mom, I didn’t realize how cool and chill you are!”

Of course there were the oddities. I didn’t let them watch Walt Disney movies when they were kids (just way too much deception and lies cloaked in niceness, BLUCK!)

(they still give me a hard time about this)

But they did watch ‘real’ movies much sooner than any of their friends did. Movies that portrayed real emotions, real situations, real truths and real lies; all upfront and easy to see.

We scrapped the manipulative ‘here is how to be a good girl or boy’ children’s stories. I figured if I felt like throwing up glancing through them, why would I subject such stuff on my kids!

Instead we relished in honest tales, like The Bronze Bow, Who Owns the Sun, and Bruchko, just to name a few.

I’ll never forget the week we were reading the story of Jim Elliot. A missionary in the Ecuadorian Jungle who was speared to death by the Waodani Tribesmen living there. And how we ended our week at Missions Fest to witness Steve Saint (whose Father was also killed the same), and one of the men who done the killing, there, live and in person, sharing their grand story of redemption.

Real life learning. Tangible lessons.

Honest emotions.

Thing is, the goal is not to be good. The goal is definitely NOT to be nice.

(Going after nice or good become their own idolatry!)

And though we are not on a quest to be bad or mean, when we hold up outer accoutrements rather than inner honesty, we walk in falseness.

And when we don’t know ourselves, we cannot know others or God in any real emotional intimacy.

Our body language will tell one story and our words will tell another. Emotions will frighten us, and strong passion will make us uncomfortable. We will not be able to manage groups well, for which of our many personalities do we present when with many?

Congruency and honesty within our inner core takes a lot of work. Initially it means that we shed good and nice, and that we get on with real.

The lessons I hope my kids have learned:

– Be yourself

– Stand tall

– Live honest

– Hold your space

– Walk in passion

And finally – God is big enough

No one is fooled by veneers. We may think others can’t read us. But its just not the truth. Everything about you screams… everything about you.

Go for the honest. Go for the real. Go for healthy.

Imagine

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doing with lessI’ve been on a minimization quest for some years now.

With death-by-stuff the norm in North America, it is a quest that can take some years and quite a bit of process.

So every six months or so, I take a good look around my home, peer into the bookcases, rummage through the closets, and generally get rid of at least a box or two of stuff that I simply don’t need anymore.

With every box gone, I feel lighter and freer.

Enough is enough.

Some months ago I stayed in another’s home for a few days. It was a beautiful home. Well laid out; brick-a-brack nicely placed with multiple memories represented here and there and everywhere.

It really was quite nice, and yet at one point in my stay, as I really looked around and really took in the stuff, there was a distinct sense of panic and claustrophobia.

I remember what it was like, to care for that much stuff.

To dust that many pictures.

To clean that many items.

To manage and care and steward…

Some years back now, I had the privilege of cleaning out the home where my Aunt and Uncle had lived for 20 plus years. It was one of the best things I ever had to do, for in the process I came starkly to the reality that when we die, 97% of the stuff we have, will mean nothing.

NOTHING.

NoTHing.

Not A Thing.

But we spend so much time on things. So much energy on stuff. So much…  I’m pretty sure it is choking out our lives.

Where there might be action we have care-taking.

Where we might have passion we have pretties.

Where we might have meaning we have must-haves.

Imagine, rather, that your home had only 1/2 the stuff in it.

Imagine your walls 1/2 clearer and cleaner than they are now.

Imagine your closets 1/2 emptier and freer than they are now.

Imagine your floor space 1/2 more open than what it is now.

Imagine

Just imagine.

Thanksgiving

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thanksgivingIt is Thanksgiving Sunday here in Canada. And in the Vancouver area particularly, it is beautiful and heading upwards of a 70 degree day.

As I write this, I’m sitting on my (as yet unmade) bed. In my housecoat. Tea at my side. Computer on my lap.

I had planned to go to church today per usual on Sundays. But the quiet of the day, the sense of gratitude and serenity about life that envelopes thanksgiving, has me still on my bed, in my housecoat, sunshine slanting over me, and in a haze of peace and ‘I won’t be going anywhere’ heart-set.

I’m staying home this morning.

It feels just right.

The problem with Sunday’s is that there can be a busy, busy, busy kind of energy to such church days.

Years back, I recognized within myself and the subculture I’d grown up to know, a certain and explicit driven-ness about Sundays. They are not often actually days of rest.

With the ‘oughts’ and the ‘shoulds’ piling high on Sundays, they wear a certain heaviness that I am quite sure the Lord never ever intended.

And so I’ve learned, to delight in church, to find peace and pouring into there, to be refreshed and encouraged by song and message and people… when I am there.

And when I am not there, there are other blessings that a Sunday holds, and other bounty of the Spirit that is mine (but only as I leave the ‘oughts’ and the ‘shoulds’ behind).

Today is one of those days. Sunshine. Quiet. Solitude.

Later today, will be ample fellowship with some 30 people for thanksgiving dinner.

So right now: Sunshine, Quiet, Solitude, Housecoat, Tea, and The Spirit.

Utter contentment.

The Spirit Beckoning

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passion of real workI’ve been working hard. Putting my nose to the grindstone, I’ve been putting in hours, getting done what I know needs to be done. With a priority list of first, second, and third tasks, I’ve always just doggedly worked away.

Always. For years now.

And years.

I like work. Love my work in fact.

Love the people and the writing and the speaking and the preparing. Love the social media end of things, meeting others from around the globe, encouraging and pouring in strength. I love prayer and preaching, love speaking the heart of God, prayer ministry and coaching. Love all of it.

Today though, I came to the end of my running to-do list.

  • Website refreshed. Check
  • Other website built. Check
  • Advance engine figured out. Check
  • Event I was speaking at. Done and Check
  • Prayer Meeting this week. Check
  • Blog Written. Check
  • Grandson babysat. Check
  • Daughters hung out with. Check
  • Curtains hemmed. Check
  • Dishes done. Check
  • House organized and tidy. Check
  • Deck winterized and ready for rain. Check
  • Emails caught up. Check
  • Inquiry emails out. Check
  • Next weeks schedule confirmed. Check
  • Items delegated out. Check
  • Check, Check, and Check.

And all of a sudden I am alone in my house. The only sound as I write this, is the dryer rattling round and round. I’ve the rest of the day by myself, with nothing pressing upon me. I can hardly remember the last time I was face to face with quiet and time and nothing to do.

It is in this space that I hear the Spirit beckoning me. A soft whisper in my heart, the voice of God impressing upon me, to come and ‘lets do some writing’… and my heart responds with trepidation.

Now, I have been walking with God for over 40 years. I know the heart and the voice of God, and I have given my life over to the kingdom of God on this earth, and however that might play out in eternity.

But today, right now, I am afraid. Not afraid afraid, but rather an avoiding kind of afraid. For this invitation to enter into the writing at hand (a book I’ve been working on), is a scary kind of thing.

I’ve realized lately that I have always shrunk back from the most important work. I’ve shrunk back from the miracles and from the places where glory supersedes and surrounds.

This invitation to write feels to me that I am being invited into the grand hall of The King. That the beauty there will be so overwhelming that I’ll simply have to fall to my knees, that the presence of the King will consume me, and there will be no recourse but to quake and be rendered speechless.

Yet in this place, are the miracles. In this place are the great works of art. This place holds the glory of God come to mankind.

How long have I been avoiding this work. The real work. How long have I been playing it safe; playing at work that matters, doing the relatively easy work, the work that looks great but doesn’t really take much from me.

There is a whole core of my understanding of God that has never been expressed. This is the work I am being called to today. And like a squirmy worm on a hook, I would rather do any other seemingly great thing than to go and write words and pages that enter me into this profoundly deep presence of God.

I imagine the crazy artistry of Beethoven or Bach as they pounded away on their pianos and over their music script. That is what working on this book feels to me. Like heading into a cave where everything else falls aside, except me and the Lord.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted. And all I’ve ever truly been afraid of.

Rest

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great beauty in restingOver a year ago I sensed that the Lord was saying to me, “Rest”, and then, “Rest” and then, “Rest”.

And it was really making me angry.

I had no clue what that meant. I had work to do, bills to pay, months to make up for… and I was supposed to… Rest?

It’s been more than a year since. What a year it has been. Launching full-on into full-time ministry work, leaping off of the cliff, shifting my focus and life dramatically, it has been a busy and full year. But in the midst of all that, I can honestly say that I now know what was being suggested to me.

I’ve learned a few things in terms of rest.

The first thing I’ve learned is that rest comes from the inside out. While we in our western culture (and most likely around the world), impose rest and play and entertainment and holidays and and and, on ourselves, we don’t really know how to rest.

I’ve realized that real rest has nothing to do with our external circumstances. That the environment which we create for ourselves has little ability to grant us ‘rest’ if in fact we are not resting in our inner person.

And so, rest in the midst of work, is quite possible. And rest in the midst of increasing pressure is possible also.

Rest and resting has nothing to do with what we are doing. True rest, is all about how we are doing life, and who we are being in our inner selves.

Rest is that state of knowing whom holds our world together, knowing the ebb and flow of life around us, and yet being centered into a state of peace from deep inside.

There are some interesting scripture passages about rest. If you are interested I encourage you to read Hebrews 4. All throughout that chapter we are told that there is a rest that is available to those who walk with God. That we are to try to enter that rest for it is made just for you and I.

Of course the idea of rest is laid out right at the beginning of creation, when God spent six days working and rested on the seventh. And while we have become distracted and legalistic believing this to be about what we are doing, true rest really does come from inside ourselves.

Dependency: this is the first word that comes to mind when I think of the inner state of rest.

It is only in dependance on God for our very lives, that we can enter into rest. As long as we are the ones making things happen, putting the pieces together, holding all in our hands, we will never enter into true rest.

We may manage the outer accoutrements of rest. We may have vacations and short work weeks, we may have time for any number of recreational activities, but all of these things will come up hollow and like an itch never scratched, if we do not have real dependance on the Lord and the rest deep within that comes from that.

The more dependent we are, the more rest we have.

It is as simple, and horrible (to our human pride), as that.

Alignment: is the second word that comes to mind in the quest for real rest.

  • Are we in alignment with the heart of God for our lives?
  • Do we carry the load that is ours to carry?
  • Have we stepped into the risking that is required of us?

The further we step into our gifted and anointed places, the more rest available to us.

It is simply a matter of proximity. How close in are we to the heart of God’s presence?

Imagine an open umbrella, and the handle as God’s presence. Imagine that we are doing life alongside this presence, sometimes nearer and sometimes farther away.

Now an umbrella gives protection from the elements. It is a safety in the midst of overbearing heat or damp.

God as our umbrella is the same. The closer into the center of this umbrella, we find greater safety and covering.

Now, some of us have been tempted from time to time to live outside of this umbrella. I think back to years ago when a close friend was moving away from the center of God’s presence, and I was tempted to follow along.

But in the onslaught of ‘bad things happening’ (seriously), I realized my error, and though it was not my wish to break fellowship with my friend, it became crystal clear that if I had to choose between my friend and God, that God would win out.

And so, I distanced myself from my friend, and moved back into and under the covering of God’s presence. We cannot find God outside of where God is. And when we try, when we refuse to make hard decisions unto God, we will not find rest.

Simple and horrible as that.

All this to say, as we increase our dependency, and as we align our lives unto Godliness and into his presence, we find rest.

Deep within our beings, and even in the midst of not having all the answers, even in the midst of relationships that we can’t make happen as we would like, and even in the midst of life different than we may have ever imagined, we find God.

We enter into The Presence. We are never the same. We rest.

Support at Hand

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friends and familyI cried out for help this week, beseeching for prayers, laying out my need. It is something that I have learned to do on a regular basis, and have been deliberately doing for more than a decade.

So much so that it is no longer counter-intuitive. It feels really natural to me.

My morning post on facebook sums up my last few days:

“I had a personal crisis this week – found myself in a blur of … Something. But, as is my habit when in the depths, I called out for prayers and cried out for help and the energy and solidness within me is the greatest it has been for more than a year. And I am reminded how we must embrace brokenness in order to climb the mountains.”

You see, I send these emails that probably appear daft. In my weakest moments and my most frail reckonings I let people know, and I ask for prayers.

Some years back now I was facilitating at Freedom Session. It was my third year and the group of women I was facilitating were all stuck on how they were the ‘only ones’.

The only one with this problem. The only one who had suffered that way. The only one who knew this reality. The only one …

(It has got to be the biggest lie in the book, that we are alone, and that no one knows our pain.)

These women continued on throughout the first three months of the program stuck, each one individually, in ‘poor me’, refusing to accept that others had difficulties too, unable to recognize that there was a larger body of people going through the exact same thing.

I got so fed up with this (as it was keeping them from really bonding and utilizing each other in their journey’s), that I took the time to go back to their original information given at the start of the year.

When a person joins Freedom Session, they are presented with a sheet of paper and are asked to check the boxes, check the sentences that describe a part of their life experience and way of being.

These forms are completely confidential except as given to the facilitator of that person. Using the information on these forms I created a bar graph with the list of statements and added up how many had said yes to #1 and colored in the correct number of those responses, and so on.

I did this with all of the questions. And what I found was telling. Every single statement had at least two from the group saying, ‘yes this is me’, and most of the statements had more than half of our group having related and affirmed that experience and statement.

I showed it to my group along with the admonition, “You are not alone in your experience. Right here around this table there are others who have been through the same thing as you. They know what you are talking about.”

It was the breakthrough they needed. And from there progress and authenticity became possible.

They were not alone.

Through my own healing years and the inner journey of my soul, I had learned the same thing. And as a blogger and a writer, and when speaking, I know and really get it, that there is not a thing I might share that is not recognizable to many.

I had learned to simply walk as authentic as possible, and while this was its own journey and process to be sure, the habits of frank honesty were beginning to pay big dividends.

So it was about one-half dozen years ago, after the Lord had been saying to me time and again, with pictures and impressions and the prophetic voices of others, “Your words will affect many all over the world.” that I knew – if this was indeed true – that I would need a team of people praying around me. I would need the support of others, I would need deep intercession on my behalf, and the practical feedback of what has come to be my own personal board of directors.

I planned this, prayed about this, brainstormed who was to be on that team, and waited on the right time to invite and implement this support.

And that time came four years ago this past summer. Each of the six people that I initially asked said yes. And while a few have over the years stepped aside for personal reasons, there have been others immediately there to take their place.

What I didn’t know four years ago, was how much I would be going through, the deep challenges, the profound shifts in my life, and the incredible open doors we are just now getting a handle on, and beginning to experience.

All of this to say, when this week I sent out my SOS prayer email and facebook post, I knew that my despairing depths were simply providing an opportunity to walk yet again in humility, to live out loud in community, and to experience the rich rich outpouring of love and support from others ‘yes’, but most of all, to lavish in the care of the Father.

Today, I am stunned with how much better I feel.

And all this to say: Gather your own supporters around you. Get some people praying for you. And then use them.

In your weakest times, if you can do nothing else squeak out, “Help”.

And in addition to this, ask for guidance, accept the wisdom of others, implore others to give you feedback, and then make changes based on what they say.

If you don’t want to change, if you don’t want transformation, then don’t ask for help.

But if you really want to move forward with your life, get some people around you.

From my own pleas this week, there is support coming on all sides. A number have called, others have booked tea and fresh feedback moments, all in cue of making me stronger.

Fact is, we are not strong in and of ourselves. It takes a community to step out in life, to walk in the reality of our days, and to envision different solutions, possibilities and to see opportunities.

Invest in your own support team today.

I implore you.

A Revolution

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faithfulness to GodWoven through many of the messages that I heard in Uganda, is an undertone, and often an explicit statement that says, “Come to God and He will make you Great”

or, “Come to Jesus and you will be Big”

Or the most blasphemous statement heard via the television on my last trip, “The wealthier you are the holier you are”

Wow, eh…

So much wrong with that one. But even the other ones, ‘come to God so as to be great’, are gross misrepresentations of the scriptures.

Nowhere have I ever read in my Bible that God promises to make us Great.
But all of this false doctrine I didn’t know about on my first trip to Uganda. I wasn’t aware of the undertone of lusted-after-grandeur and of God being the big fix-it-all-button. Nevertheless, the Holy Spirit led me to preach this sermon, to share this message:

It is good to gather today. And we do so in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We come together not as people who have nothing in common. For regardless of the circumstances of our lives being different, the experiences of our lives, the trouble that comes our way as human beings, is much the same all over the globe.

And the manner by which God meets us in our difficulty is the also the same. No matter where we live, no matter what color our skin and no matter our socioeconomic status or the culture in which we find ourselves, at our emotional core we all need God the same way.

You may think that Canada has no trouble. But there is trouble all over the globe. Let me share with you a bit of my own story.

You see, I have known what it is to go without food, for at one time I was starving myself so my children could eat. I’ve known what it is to not be able to clothe my kids, I’ve known what it is to rely on the donations of others in order to clothe my children.

I’ve known what it is to be verbally and psychologically abused. I’ve known a bad marriage and of being mocked by the one who swore to love me.

And I’ve known what it is to be sexually abused; for twice as a child I was raped.

And in and through all of that I have come to know a God who is greater than these things, and that walks with us through all of life’s experiences, the good the bad and the ugly.

God does not promise to fix our lives, but he does promise to walk alongside as we go through life. His presence makes all the difference, and God in the gift of Jesus Christ, has gone to extremes to ensure that we can walk together.

We think that God owes us something. But fact of the matter is, God owes us nothing, and we on the other hand, owe him our very lives.

The summer that I was working through the rape memories, the Spirit asked me this,

“In light of everything that has gone bad. In spite of everything that is horribly wrong, will you love me, will you trust me, and will you know me to be good?”

I had accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of six, but that acceptance was in the light of a rosy all-is-right with the world perspective. Christ is easy to accept in the fairytale of our lives.

This time, some 35 years later, Christ was asking me again. “Will you love me, will you trust me, and will you know me to be good?”

It was a hard place. Could I? Would I?

How much do we love God? Do we love him, do we trust him, and will we know him to be good?

My faith up till that point in time had been fairly shallow (now in retrospect). You see a gospel that says come to God and your life will be fixed is shallow at best, blasphemous at worst.

Will our lives steadily increase as we walk with God? Yes!

Do our lives become increasingly free as we give our lives over to Christ? Yes!

But nowhere are we promised that our lives will be fixed.

And so, if God does not fix your life, if nothing changes, and in light of all that is bad, will you love him, will you trust him, and will you know him to be good?

For you see, our decision to give over our lives to the living God, comes before anything gets better. It comes before we see resolutions and before there is relief. We must ask ourselves, how much do we love God today?

And what things have you been holding out as a prerequisite to your full involvement with him? What deals have you been trying to make? What assurances are you demanding?

God owes us nothing, we on the other hand, owe God our very lives.

Speaking this message that first trip, I never knew how revolutionary a message it would be in light of the Uganda culture, never realized that it is a message in direct opposition to the ‘Come to God and he will make you great or big or wealthy or healthy or… ”

But I am pretty sure it is not revolutionary just in Uganda, but in Canada as well.

These revolutionary messages of the heart of God are exactly the work we as Capturing Courage International are called to preach. It is the core of the Biblical Training that we are taking, the core of the Leadership Development and Emotional and Spiritual Freedoms.

What do we believe about God?

What does God say about God?

And what might we bring to God today?

Quiet Deep Inside

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creativity and joyCreativity is a hard thing to grasp, and even harder to really go after.

I can always tell when there is some great piece of writing beneath the surface of my day, because I avoid writing like the plague.

There are always a number of things I can do rather than invest in the writing I am to actually be about.

My most favorite distractions, eating and television. Oh, and facebook.

Not that any one of these things are bad in and of themselves, yet when I circle around from one to the other and then back again, I can be sure I am simply avoiding creative work; avoiding digging into the deep of my spirit and soul to share and to put words to the latest thing pressing through me.

Reading a book earlier in the week, I was reminded that work is sacred.

It jumped off the page at me. Just like that. ‘Work is sacred’

I wanted to get away from what it was telling me. I wanted to pretend that it didn’t stand out at me so boldly and with such conviction. But it hasn’t gone away. And won’t go away.

Because I get it. I get that the work that any one of us are to truly be about, is a sacred act. A place where we step out of the ordinary and we enter into the holy.

This is the way writing feels to me. And when I am most tapped into the words I am to be putting to paper, I often feel overwhelmed with awe and that I must remove my shoes or get on my knees, for I am on holy ground.

So why do I avoid it? Why, when writing a book, do I spend 20 000 words skirting around the thing I most want to say? Why, when it is time to write a blog, do I sometimes make yet another cup of tea and find some other little thing to do for a time?

I don’t know about you, and how your work plays out in your life, but in mine, I think I am simply afraid. Afraid of entering into holy, that place in the true center of the work given me; afraid of the glory of God changing me.

Deep calls unto deep,

…and a lot of the time, I just want to stay shallow.

I imagine the greatest artists and sculptors and writers over the centuries, and I wonder how they got past the threshold of magnificence in their work. How did they enter into that holy, quiet and damning place in the center of their being?

All I know is that the only viable and useful work, comes from this place.

All the rest, is a sham, a pretend sort of work. Just great enough in its own way to make us feel good about ourselves, and just great enough in its own way for others to applaud us.

But the artist knows when they are not really producing the real goods.

It is time to get real quiet deep inside, make friends with what is there, and invite it and facilitate it out and into the world.

We won’t ever be the same.

And neither will the rest of the world.

Without Wifi

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when things don't go as plannedWell, so much for ‘follow my trip on my blog idea. No Wifi for an entire two weeks ensured that there would be no blogs; there would be no emails, no updated ADVANCE, and no connections with family other than scattered and very short phone calls.

But I’m home now, and catching up. Phew!

It’s the middle of the night in Vancouver, Canada, but my body is still on Uganda time, so here I write – as it is really the middle of the day – wink, wink.
There was a strange feeling of entering another land once I truly realized I would be without Wifi. For starters, time slid by oh so slowly. And while I did manage to add another 30k words to the rough start of a book I’ve been working on, it truly took me a few days to settle into the fact that I was not going to be online for some time (and to stop even trying).

A friend awhile back had mentioned that nothing works in Africa. This trip, I got to experience this full-on.

I had made all the necessary preparations. I’d budgeted for the wifi modem for my computer, budgeted for the generator necessary to keep my ‘machines’ charged and topped-up ready. And I had my Ugandan phone with airtime all set to head off to the village.

But things didn’t go as planned. I’ve lost track of the exact rhythm of mislaid plans, but it goes something like this.

First day in, the computer runs out of power.

We wait on the generator to arrive.

I have the generator, but it needs petrol (gas in Ugandan English).

We wait on the petrol to be fetched.

We have petrol and the generator runs for a tiny bit, and then dies.

Oh, we need oil.

We wait on the oil to be fetched.

The oil arrives, we can charge one thing at a time (I only have one adapter, note for next time: bring three adapters on a trip) and it takes 5 hours and $5 of petrol to charge my computer.

The day is now gone, my computer is charged but the phone is not, and we wait for another day.

Another day arrives, but the boys are at the garden. We wait for them to come home later in the day so they can begin the generator.

The generator won’t start today – send for the technician.

Meanwhile, I work on my writing, and get a lot done, but the computer is now out of power once more.

– Repeat in alternating and various order for every day of my stay –

With my phone it was much the same:

I have airtime, but there is no network in the village half of the time, due to storms and cloud cover.

Oh the network is on, and I make a few short calls home just to say I am alive and well.

I run out of airtime.

Next day we go searching for airtime, but cannot find the kind I have in the village.

A few days later, we switch networks, and get new airtime.

But now my phone is not charged any longer.

I wait on the generator, (see the story about the computer), and a few days goes by.

My phone is now charged, but no one knows my new number.

And now the network is down.

Another day or two or three passes… with about 12 hours in-between each of these things… truly I tell no lie.

There is no way to exaggerate these delays and difficulties.

The point of all this: I don’t know.

What I do know though, is that for me, it was a gift. A tedious gift, but a gift nonetheless. And though my blog readership is down for this month (nothing to read after all), and though I must catch up on emails (that I am still afraid to open and process), two weeks offline did its work in my heart and life.

Though this trip was a bit of a blurr and it will take me some time to process it all, I know there was some deep work done. Both in my life, my kids lives, and in the life of Capturing Courage International, and for the work and people there in Madudu.

Somehow, the time spent in hours of heart depths and inner thoughts rendered well, with prayers and pleas for many, I am pretty sure that the hours and hours without, will prove to in fact be, hours and hours invested; a turning point that I will look back on and be forever grateful.

I can feel it, I just can’t all the way explain it.

But I do know, that when things don’t go as planned (despite our best planning), that there is usually something better in the mix.

So in (best that I could manage) casual African style I settled in and rolled with the punches, and despite my driver personality, (or maybe because of my driver personality) still managed to come out of the slowest whirlwind of my existence, with something to show for it.

(I feel like I’m babbling, and most likely am, lets just blame it on the jet-lag, and trust that you just might get something from this post for yourself.)

If nothing else, remember, that when things don’t go well, there are still gifts to be gleaned in the mix. Dig for gold baby, it’ll be there!

Uncomfortable Constraint

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adventure and privilegeOff to Uganda, you are reading this as I’ve arrived, been received at the airport by David and taken to he and his wife’s home. I’ve had a nights rest at their home (they’ve given me their bed to sleep in), and I am off to buy medicines in Kampala with Mildred today.

And constraint is all around.

The work of coming and traveling and ministering in Uganda is all about constraint. And in fact, on my last trip here, I made a list of all the constraints upon a person, that I might alert any who want to do a trip to really count the cost, seeing if they are really up for it.

For instance, in Canada we are used to our space around us. We are used to sitting in a vehicle with room for our legs and with room for our arms. In Uganda it is much different. The taxi service is more like that feeling of camping in a very cramped campsite.

My legs have no space in these vehicles. I am fairly long-legged and I must sit with a slight rotation to my hips and back in order to fit (and even then my knees are jammed into the seat in front of me). On either side are my traveling companions, some I know, most I do not. Regardless, we get used to our hips and legs in close quarters and the skin of our arms stuck together in the heat. And though the journeys are any number of hours in length, and there are no bathroom stops nor pauses to stretch, we give no sigh of disdain or contempt.

We have entered into another persons home and we will make no complaint.

My luggage is sparse. And I have ensured it is no heavier than I can carry myself. Constraint of time and space as well as energy and strength, ensures I don’t overdo my luggage, and in the consequence make a fool of myself.

The surest way to be ashamed in a developing nation, is to pack too much.

The roads are rutted, graveled and sometimes soggy from recent rains. And suitcases on wheels are a joke in the crowded city of Kampala. If you can’t carry it, don’t bring it. Constraint saves us.

The boda-boda rides (motorcycles) prove the same. Imagine your gear and suitcases strapped onto a boda-boda along with you and a driver. Imagine it, and you will ensure you do not overdo it. Constraint saves us.

The habits of minimalism do one well when in Africa. Well thought out planning and execution alongside frank consideration are must-haves. Last trip I took three pairs of socks, and didn’t put one pair on once. Silly. This time I’ve taken one pair, and very small and thin at that.

In service to the people there, my days are not my own. But years of child-raising has prepared me well; constraint on my person is certainly not unknown! Fact is, I am simply honored to be their guest, and at their disposal. “What shall we do today? Here are my thoughts and ideas, but really, you tell me.”

We somehow believe that when we enter into the most important works of our lives that we will be freer, that we will be with less responsibility and more expression. And while some of this is true, in actual fact, the greater the work, the greater the constraint upon ones person, time, stamina, and responsibility.

The CEO of a company does not carry less, but more. The president of an organization does not have it easier, but tougher. The Leader of a nation deals with more and therefore has less. The one who ministers to many can only do so as constraint is embraced and welcomed and given over to.

For instance, praying over fifty, one-hundred, two-hundred people as they come one by one, lined up and waiting… Is not about more. It is about less. How much are we willing to pour out? How much of ourselves will we give over.

The greatest works of our lives require constraint, and discipline and responsibility.

Another way of saying the identical thing – enter into constraint, discipline and increased responsibility, and your life will ooze of great works.

p.s.

The Bible speaks over and over again of the little that we can bring in order for much to come of it. Nowhere does God say, ‘Come to me and I will make you great’.

Rather, it is, ‘Lose your life and you will find it’.

‘The one who is last will be first’.

Leaders are those who have determined to put their lives in service to others, be it through non-profit service, business, politics, or community involvement. They walk a hard road, without complaint and without murmur, and with much constraint.

God bless our leaders.

Spiritual Constraint

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powerful constraintWant to be spiritually powerful, employ constraints.

My last post was a precursor to this one; a brief introduction to the power of using constraint and limitation. You can find it here.

What we call the spiritual disciplines are also simply constraint, yet applied to the deepest parts of our inner person.

Physically we know the power of constraint. Focus on running, pour yourself into the martial arts, spend your time devoted to hockey, (but not all), and you will become a champion in your own right, if not literally.

Relationally we employ the power of constraint and limitation all the time. It is why we marry, and why we make choices of these types of friends but not those types.

In education we create constraints. Limiting access eliminates those who want a free ride, or who are not as serious as others. Ensure there are hoops to jump through and those who really want it, will be the ones on the other side.

Spiritually speaking, constraint works the same. It is why we have the disciplines and simple good habits of, taking a day of rest for instance. Limiting our work days to six ensures we are rejuvenated and restored on a regular basis.

Fasting is a prime example of a spiritual discipline. Fasting invests in something we cannot see, asks for favor we can barely touch but know we need, and joins into a work of God and of Spirit that barely makes sense, but invest we will anyway.

Prayer also, focuses our thoughts and worries and gladness in one concentrated conversation between ourselves and God. By coming into constraint of thankfulness for instance, of limiting our focus to that which we are thankful, creates a powerful catalyst for more of the same. Sow thankfulness reap thankfulness.

Spiritual Authorities work the same way. The question might be asked like this – How big is your sword? Constraint as spiritual discipline is the work that proves one can handle spiritual authority.

For the bigger the sword, the less it is swung. The bigger the sword the stronger one must be to swing it. And the bigger the sword, the wiser one must be in the swinging.

Constraint proves this. Constraint ensures this. Constraint enters into powerful work without flippancy, without jumping ahead and without random actions. Constraint proves our character and our habits.

A person without constraint, we call a wild-card. A wild-card cannot be completely trusted. A wild-card runs ahead, then lags behind. Always out of sync with those round about, a wild-card makes a mess out of time, money, energy, integrity and choices. To name a few.

Spiritually speaking, a wild-card is someone who has authority but who runs out of sync with God.

The difference – Constraint. Constraint not employed and we have anarchy and chaos. Constraint employed, and we have well-fashioned inner persons, employing well-fashioned constraint through all parts of their life.

The spiritual disciplines hone our walk and work alongside God. Constraint fashions us into someone useful in the Kingdom of God, where we become partners in setting things right on the earth.

How might you grow your spiritual authority today? Enter into constraint.

p.s.

As you read this I am on my way to Uganda for some days of leadership development and spiritual training for rural Pastors in a village 150km west of Uganda’s capital city of Kampala.

Constraint is applied over and over again in these spiritual works. Constraint becoming a natural course of the rhythm of spiritual work. My days prior to this trip, my inner person was quieting down. Deep inside I was hunkered, waiting, preparing, garnering the energy necessary for the work to come.

And now, the reality of about 30 hours of travel is a welcome opportunity of continued investment in the constraint of a work to come. The to-do list has been completed, the preparations are finished, the backpack has been packed and packed again, and now the hours of silence and of physical stillness only adds to the work.

I am thankful, and glad you are joining me for the journey.