Difficulty, Joy, Trust

Time for IntrospectionI take the time every morning in introspection and prayer. Quieting my heart and mind, centering my runaway emotions and fears and confusions, finding that inexplicable peace from God that quite simply puts a welcome sign on each day.

Today I am meditating on three words: Difficulty, Joy, Trust

Those three, all together like that.

Difficulty Joy Trust

DifficultyJoyTrust

Like they are meant to go together, meant to inspire the other and as though each would be incomplete on their own.

Now, the Joy and the Trust we like, it is the Difficulty that often gets us and that we shy away from.

Today though, I completely get it, really feel it in my gut, that ‘Yes!’, these three are bosom buddies.

Of course!

“Welcome DifficultyJoyTrust, thank-you for gracing my life.”

Throughout the years we have our fair share of difficulty. You have, I have, we all have.

There is not anything any one of us have gone through that there hasn’t been someone else who has gone through the same.

Troubles abound

And yet…

In the midst of difficulties the very fibers of our stamina is increased, the muscles of our hearts are strengthened, the capacity for breath in our lungs is expanded.

Difficulty paves the way for Joy to be that much sweeter,

For Trust to be so very real;

Intangible realities that are in fact the very foundation of our lives, and that once we have none can take away.

I’ve had my own difficulties – things that today I wouldn’t wish away if I could.

I’ve been through times of severe deprivation where I was starving myself so my kids could eat, times where I was dependent on donations of clothes for my kids, and where I didn’t know how I was going to pay my bills.

I’ve been through rape and sexual abuse, and the process of processing all of that. Of getting in touch with all that is not right, of standing my ground and saying ‘no more’. Of hard heart work and journey’s through inner cauldrons of hate and bitterness and despair.

I’ve been through loss upon loss. The normal losses and deaths of Grandparents, and then the not-so-normal losses of a brother when I was young and of a grand-daughter just last year.

I’ve been through a tough marriage, full of addiction and dysfunction and abuse. I’ve known the loss of dreams and the loss of love. Rejected and dismissed time and again, from numerous sources …

I’ve found that life goes on.

And that for all these, because of these difficulties I am stronger and wiser and equipped for great works.

The preparation of difficulties cannot be underestimated,

Neither discounted or wished away.

Difficulties are in fact grand opportunities to use inner strengths we didn’t know we have, to find God’s strength we didn’t know was available to us, and to become the kind of people we’ve always wanted to be.

This is the Key: It is in the giving over and the relinquishing of every single thing we have held so dear and thought so very important, we find Joy.

When life by virtue of difficulty removes from our beings the ‘shoulds’,

You know what I am talking about, the ‘that should be this way’,  ‘you should do such and such’, ‘they should yada-yada’, ‘we should…’

When every ‘should’ is pressed free from our lives and language and expectations,

Joy floods in as a gentle warm bath, permeating every layer, it is simply there.

When it arrived we cannot tell,

It was somewhere in the midst of the difficulty.

Joy doesn’t come when every thing is easy. It comes in difficulty.

Trust too, is the same.

Trust grows as we are broken.

When life throws something at us that tests us to the core, demanding of us to relinquish our very life as we know it,

Then trust really takes root. And we will never be the same

Glory be to God.

“Welcome DifficultyJoyTrust, thank-you for gracing our lives.”

May we simply do right by you.

Only Boys Aloud

AffirmationThe last weeks my attention has been caught by Britain’s Got Talent. With auditions and semi-finals and finals, my votes were on a few notable talents.

Take a few minutes to watch this performance for instance: 

Only Boys Aloud – Welsh Choir

I don’t know about you, but I found them absolutely beautiful.

Not the only inspiring performance, there were most assuredly others.

And as I watched a number of these auditions a number of times, I was struck by how each didn’t really know how they had done.

Would they receive the coveted four ‘Yes’s’ or not?

Just as these lads at the end, so touched and relieved and over-joyed at the favorable response. Surprised in fact.

Yet to those of us watching, it is very apparent very early on that Only Boys Aloud Choir would in fact receive four approvals to the next round.

It wasn’t even a question in our minds, they were that good.

We could see it, could feel it.

Yet they didn’t know it, didn’t have that same confidence.

It was the same with all the very best performances.

While the worst of the performances were truly surprised that they didn’t get through, the very best didn’t all the way know how great they were.

And isn’t this the way with all of us.

We don’t really know how we are doing most of the time.

There are most likely brilliant things about the way you are doing life, are you aware of them?

There are most likely brilliant things about the way others around you are doing life,

Have you told them? Given your feedback?

We all need feedback, need to know where we are at and how we stand in any given endeavor.

For only then can we get better. Only then can we become the best we can be.

Give the gift of feedback today.

The Only Boys Aloud Welsh Choir took third place in Britain’s Got Talent, but even more than that, they’ve gone home with a jolt of much needed encouragement and affirmation.

Something that doesn’t do any one of us a bit of harm.

Affirm someone today.

Anticipation

P1080807 compressedAnticipation

I’m sitting at my table with the sun shining through the windows, splashing across my back and along the floor.

The smell of it is sweet, and it makes me think of summer and spring just around the corner.

Even though it is freezing cold outside!

Anticipation

My daughter is expecting a baby. Still 9 weeks away and yet we all know those weeks will fly past.

Busy crocheting blanket and booties, making piles of baby things, decorating his room, we are all getting ready.

We are waiting for you Dorian!

Anticipation

I’m heading back to Uganda in less than three weeks.

A myriad of little details must be done. This and that gathered: I’m remembering sun-screen this time!

Emails and messaging, texts and calls all to the folks there; we are all gearing up. Getting ready. Preparing hearts and minds and spirits, peoples and communities.

Anticipation

A Renewal Weekend coming up. Four short days away.

Women are preparing, we are food shopping, ensuring the menu is set. Finalizing the group sessions, setting the stage for deep internal shifts by which none of us are ever the same.

… and the Purdy’s are bought!

Anticipation

Such a sweet, sweet thing is anticipation.

Though my kitchen is a mess, though my kids like to fight each other, though there are a million things that could go wrong, anticipation harnesses our most joyful expectations and bathes our days in gladness.

It’s much like the sunshine that graces my neck of the woods this day.

Anticipation is half the fun, maybe even more!

Anticipation

What are you anticipating?